who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
