Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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