You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
