I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
