i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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