i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
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You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
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I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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