I'm drive I can fine osifer
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
