yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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