A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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