just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
