there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
