He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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