; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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