idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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