Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
