Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
