I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
