too bad you live with your parents still
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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