i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
