I'm jealous of your bromance
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
