I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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