he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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