This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize