Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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