I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
