She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
