An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
