from now on my penis is your penis
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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