Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
