I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize