You really coming over, don't trick.
Me too!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
