his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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