let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
