His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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