just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize