weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
