1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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