In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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