I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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