Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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