Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
