Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
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totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.