Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back