im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.