u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.