Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
