Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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