Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize