I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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