She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
