dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Girls should come with a carfax report
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
