SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
