it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
