If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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