When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
this boner is exhausting
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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