dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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