for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
