I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize