Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
