So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
