I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
