Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
