I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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