I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
