Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
