I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
