Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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